22 combat veterans commit suicide every day. I am reminded of this startling fact when I wake up every morning, and I am grateful that I am not one of those 22 every evening before I go to sleep. I have nearly died on multiple occasions during my military service: I have been trapped in fires, in multiple IED explosions, and in small arms engagements during combat. It was not until I attempted suicide by overdose that I realized I needed to change. From the remnants of my history as a combat veteran I am inclined to pursue a degree in art to help other combat veterans who are dealing with PTSD address their psychological struggle by practicing art therapy.
In the Drawing and Painting program at the University of Georgia, I have used projects and assignments to express difficult emotions from my time in the military. This therapeutic application of my formal artistic training can be seen in the attached piece “Combat Veteran.” Juxtaposing my self-portrait with a journal entry underneath expressing some of the traumatic experiences of my military service demonstrates how art can be used as a therapeutically. Another work that signifies the powerful impact of military service on student veterans is the commissioned mural that I created for UGA’s Student Veterans Resource Center (SVRC) in the summer of 2020, titled “We Came by Land, Sea, Air, and Space.” It was challenging to develop a commissioned work of art that represents the entire body of student veterans as they progress from past military service through university and into a professional field. I worked closely with the director of the SVRC, Ted Barco, to establish a visual language that accurately represents all military branches. [A1]
Creating this piece of art was a culmination of experiences that I had thought impossible for me to produce. Raised in the impoverished areas of Conyers, GA, and a 16-year-old high-school drop-out, I found the act of creating a work of art for a major university to be cathartic. And after I was medically retired from the military, I was certain that my hopes of career sustainability were dead. Upon the completion of this mural, I found that the practice of art, which has held my mind together in the worst of times, holds the key for my future success in the field of art.
Shortly after I had overdosed on opiates and amphetamines, my wife was struggling with her third pregnancy. She was getting sick daily and unable to eat animal products of any kind. I was looking for reasons to create positive changes for myself and my family, and when she decided to adopt a plant-based diet as a remedy for her ailments, I followed her headlong. Since 2015 we have been vegan, and my youngest son knows no other way. After a few months of eating an entirely plant-based diet, I noticed my panic attacks started to ease, and I was able to stop taking the medications that I was so dependent upon for pain/anxiety management. By practicing a vegan lifestyle I am more attuned to mindfulness and self-control, which allows me to tune into my artistic healing.
My training and combat experiences during the nearly six years I was in the Army Infantry served to propagate suffering without questioning the ethics of a situation, including our animal-based diet. When I consider the amount of chemicals that are pumped into livestock and the adrenaline that the animal releases at the moment of its death, I am inclined to assume that these extra chemicals were throwing my already unbalanced psychological systems into further disarray. Now, after five years of a vegan lifestyle, I have cultivated a mindset of compassion that questions my actions personally and the actions of major corporations globally with regard to what is most ethically beneficial for our planet. For veterans dealing with symptoms of PTSD, any avenue of reprieve from these issues should be pursued, and I believe that advocating for the adoption of a plant-based diet may offer such reprieve, even if only a psychological one.
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